In this short video, I discuss a central DBT dialectic–that between acceptance and change.
The Lakeview Center’s Jason McVicker, LCSW, RDDP, leads a meditation on Loving Kindness.
… or some of all of these?
You may already be familiar with thinking about communication styles as passive, passive-aggressive, or assertive. Rebecca Shafir, author of The Zen of Listening: Mindful Communication in the Age of Distraction, offers a handy online chart (Communication Styles: A Personal Checklist) for getting to know even better our own dispositions and preferences—whether we are most concerned with expressing ourselves, making things happen, relating to others, or analyzing the situation. Those familiar with Lineman’s account of the three main goals in interpersonal situations (Objectives, Relationships, and Self-Respect) may find interesting correlates here. Shafir’s chart also helps to sort out how the conventional categories of passive, passive-aggressive and assertive sort out in terms of what each communicates to others about everyone’s relative importance in an interpersonal situation, as well as the verbal and non-verbal kinds of communication that are typical of each communication style, and some consequences of adopting each approach. This is useful information to consider as you are getting to know your own interpersonal style and developing skills and techniques to build relationships that you can want to have.
Link here to a personal narrative about depression and DBT by journalist Will Lippincott in the New York Times. Lippincott describes his early encounters with distress tolerance skills as well as the ways that DBT skills training has helped him in the long term to gain control over his troubling states of mind. A great introduction to DBT from a patient’s perspective. And an inspiring story.